Why Are People so selfish,uncaring AND How to be a good friend

This quick and slightly unorganized post or article, is designed to fix one of the major problem in society with side effects of : sadness, loneliness, feeling unloved, feeling unwanted and more.

First a quick proof that this is a problem in society

• A girl was conteplating suicide, or at lesat saying she was because “her friends are never there for her”
• I personally realize it
• I notice it with everyone… new friends, old ones, maybe I just care more than the average person..

At least 2 girls I know aren’t happy with their friends. I am personally not to happy with mine either…and arguably I don’t have too many. Okay,

QUICK TEST: DOES SOMEONE CARE?

Ask: How was your day?
(Wait for reply)
THEY CARE IF the reply is something along the lines of:

• “good, yours?”
• mine is okay, what about yours?
• fine thanks and you
• my day is good since talking to you..

THEY DON’t CARE if you get a response like

• whatever
• its ok (and silence after…they don’t talk to you after that unless you ask talk to them..)

its common sense to someone who cares, to return the favour of asking
Intro:
Okay, so to put this in context. Say, you are someone like me , or 2 other girls I know. You don’t have over 10 friends. In fact, you don’t have true friends.

A true friend being defined as

• you can depend on

always there for you

• who you spend time with (i.e. chill outside school/workplace)
• calls you or does favours for you, and (you in return should for them)
• someone who hears useful information , and tells you. For example, if your friend knew about some discounted bus passes, they would let you know, even if it doesn’t benefit them

So what’s wrong with MOST people?

QUICK AND MAJOR PROBLEMS

——————————————————————————

1. INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO HANG OUT

(THIS IS MUTUAL: It is important for you both to equally, invite each other. Why?

Imagine: You invite your friend to go the the movies 5 times. And your friend agrees, and goes with you. The fact, that this is “one-way” care. It is problematic.

).

. Not inviting each other to “hang out”. Sure you can talk to your friend everyday on the phone, but the fact that you don’t wish to have “fun” outings together, shows that you don’t really want to be friends.

2. BE THERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS. If you’re friend has a problem, don’t just say “Okay”, try to advise them and help. Put yourself in their shoes.

3. Exist in your friends life. If you don’t talk to a friend(or someone) for 1 week, you will notice an awkward sense.

MY GOLDEN RULE OF FRIENDSHIP:

DO NOT LET MORE THAN 1 DAY GO BY WITHOUT SOME TIME SPENT TOGETHER/COMMUNICATION ETC. If you are true friends, this will come naturally, unless someone is busy, or on vacation.

4. INITIATE CONTACT WITH YOUR FRIEND TO SHOW YOU CARE

In the hallways, say ‘hi’ … etc. Introduce your friend to your other friends.

Example: You and your friend are always on MSN messenger. When your friend sees you come online, instead of saying “hi”, your friend just ignores you. You may not realize it at first. But when you realize that this person only “speaks when spoken to”, or waits for you to say “hi”.

Then you can tell there is a problem.

Both people will wonder:

• Does he/she even care to say ‘hi’?
• Does he/she have better friends than me
• Wow, is he/she mad at me? What’s with the silent treatment

——————————————————————————

• Online life: False sense of friendship. That is, some people always on Msn Messenger, and never going out, don’t realize that they should be more social.
• Some people with not many friends could benefit from finding a boyfriend/girlfriend, one person that does it all! In other words, makes up for the missing friendships in their life

(This holds true because some people ditch their friends for a relationship)

• Busy, well with university/college, or whatever work, and maybe jobs, people are “too busy” for friends, or have priorities of different friends.

(It is understandable that people have many friends, but we must strive to find who really cares about us, who can we trust, who can we depend on, who really treats us and respects us as a friend)

Problems With People (In Relationships) these days

~ by pdna on January 11, 2008.